From MAju JunCtioN to TmTouCh to KLCC


Aku lapar.. yesterday, i ate nasik lemak in the morning ( I planned to fast tapi kak zu dengan jahatnya mengajak aku pegi makan), and last nite only take a half-full plate of bihun courtesy of my sister.. and tempe.. Thats all I had yesterday for the soul.. Hmm, kalau 2/3 minggu camnie, I think I am going back to school weight - 47Kg.. ehehe, mesti ramai jek orang jeles.. But, those days are over.. Now, aku suffering to maintain whatever I have.. a little more intake cause a full scale gain.. Despite aku jogging, painful sit ups, an hour cycling gym nye bycicle.. aku still does not loose even a pound.


Nak cerita bengang skett.. Kat sape lagik.. GB and my boss.. Arrghhh, GB is really %6&#$@ gerammnyaa... Aku taktaulaa what actually they are doing in that 14th floor. They have high grades (23 compare to us 21), they handle jobs by region (US, Canada, Asia pac, Middle East, compare to us 250 countries excluding INMARSAT, Iridium services etisalat satellite phone ntah hapa-hapa).. Yet, they expecting us to provide report to them, to provide any solution to their own problem. Gilos!!!. Just now, my bos asked me to download traffic data for 15 mind u.. 15 days... Which is gonna hundreds thousands of calls. And that will only be a raw data.. and then, I have to massage the data, arrange, copy, paste, sort, sum, tabulate, highlight, cut, and put it in a very nice indexed file. Send it to my boss, and he will send to GB... claiming his work. I never even saw what they are doing with it after all my hardwork of getting the data. HE gets the rewards and recognitions for the job.
Tapi kali nie, I just dont seem to do what my boss order... Even if I do, this time around, I'll only provide them the raw data..
Biarlah, aku dah malas melayan kehendak orang-orang yang selfish..


Aku rasa aku terasa ngan someone.. Ntahla, its difficult to describe.. But to me it seems that I am labeled as loser.. a pain in the #@$@ neck loser in love and frenship. Do I have to be someone else, to do things I am not honestly doing, to get a degree majoring in tackling man's heart. Do I need a spell, a love potion, a charm.. in order to win love, to win a man's heart... Am I, with who I am and what I have and as the phrase says: BSURSICUR not capable enough to maybe-not-now but someday , have a man to complement myself, to be my soul partner. And do I have to compete with another woman.. Naahh, dont think so.. This is me, this is what I am.. I always wanted to be better, to be nicer, to be more useful person.. I always ready for comments and critics.. ( Mickey selalu kutuk aku now nie.. sampai ati tul). I am always spare room for improvement.. I know, I cannot change in a split second.. It needs patience and endurance.. But I am willing to change, to suit myself into situation.. If thats for a better.. But, I am not angel.. I am not like other person, I cannot follow what other people do.. Mungkin I am not lucky in the love and friendship things, tapi aku takdela nak menyalahkan diri aku or sesapa.. Aku macam nie, aku takleh nak ubah diri aku mengikut kehendak orang.. it takes people and I to adjust to the situation.. It takes abang and ema to adjust ourselves to anything that we want.. the way it takes abang and 'her' to be what u guys are now.. It doesnt take me to suit myself into someone else's world..
I am sorry, but... I feel hurt..