Misfortune or unskilled

I was so misfortune in all the game in the ofis. I am such a loser at the very first game. Erggh, I should need more training. I know all the game and yet, I didn't win any. I am so ashamed with myself. I feel that I dun have any talent at all. My hands aren't strong to throw the dart and they are shaky as well. My mind is not sharp to read the strategy in the Chess and Dam Aji game. And I have no luck at all in Dam Ular and Congkak game. I book the last place in bowling. Arrghh, I feel so so bad. I can accept losing to other ppl, but I can't believe that I can't perform in those game. I can at least give a tough fight. I juz hate that.

I used to play chess very well with those chess master around me, namely My bro in-law and pakcik. But now, I juz can't concentrate which result in messy movement. Aiyaaa, I even know about castling and en-passant. Bencinyaaaaaa.. I hate myself when I can't do things. I hate myself when I can't take challenge, I hate myself when I can't do the best of me. I hate myself more when I realize I have weakness. heheh.. I am not perfectonist, but if I do something, I'll do the best I can. But, often I juz do averagely which enrage me to the max.

Today is the day when I re-establish my friendship with pakcik. Juz friendship, becoz now that I am sure I have over him in a sense of feeling, revenge and anger. Hope we can be the best of friends forever.