Seriusly, this thing is freaking me out. First and foremost, for the person involved in this entry; if u read this.. I wanna say huge apology. I dont mean to embarass u in any way.. I am just feeling very fragile and vurnarable. I am afraid. Frighten to make a mistake again.. not anymore.

I know a great guy from a close fren. He is nice and so far, ape yang aku tanya dia tak penah lari-lari or hide things. I know there is nothing unusual about us yet. In fact, I dont intend at this moment to have any further relationship than friendship. But, I dont want to start a fire neither. I mean, I dont want to make fren with a wrong person. I mean, not a other woman's husband. Tu laa yang aku takut sangat. I know and I hope he is honest and sincere with me. however still, nothing is secure at the moment. How can I believe in a person that I know only in the email and phone. What are the criterias that do not make a man 'suami orang'.
Now, from the things that I see.. he has no handphone, he never gives out his home phone.. nor he tells me about his life outside the office.. adalaa.. a little..
I know, maybe it is too early. But, I have enough bad experience to even start a new one. Aku dah taknak lagi jadi mcm Dino, Jalil and shafawi and Man too..
Pengalaman betul-betul membuat aku serik dan berhati-hati pada masa nie.

AKu taknak, aku just taknak to be in that situation anymore. Right now, I am happier of being alone. I dont have to think of anyone, i dont have to miss anyone. and I hate the thought of waiting for calls, emails, and all that.
More importantly, I dont want .. not anymore! I loath the thought of is he love me or is he love me not.

And with suami orang, i dont think its going to work as frens neither. Apatah lagi untuk menjalin satu hubungan. Nor being more than a frens.

Ya Allah, semoga Engkau akan sentiasa menunjukkan aku ke jalan yang benar. And semoga Engkau akan sentiasa melindungi aku dari segala kejahatan.

Dear u,
if u read this.. Please, please dont take me wrongly. I know u have all experience and knowledge to understand what I am feeling right now.

p/s... Hendaknya janganlaa dia baca..