If Cat has 9 lives, why did my cats die

I feel so sad, really sad. Didy died today. Now, I lost 3 of my four cats.Tinggal Suzzy jek sekor. Kenapa yek, kenapa kucing-kucing aku mati. Aku rasa aku jaga diorang ngan baik sekali. Baru jek bawak gie klinik ari tu masa Kasim kena flu. Baru jek dapatkan didy a shot of flu vaksin, and ubat cacing. Baru jek bagi diornag antibiotik and vtamin. Tapi, diorang mati jugak. Mula-mula aritu Oren mati. Then, Kasim menghilang tanpa berita. Aku rasa Kasim pun mati jugak, sebab kasim nie kacukan Persian and kampung, so mungkin dia jadi cam kucin kampung yang akan menghilang diri bila nak mati. Then, didy pulak.. Didy nie jenis long hair. Hmm, Suzzy pulak Persian. So, actually kucin-kucin kacukan nie memang susah nak jaga sbb dia tak tahan lasak. suzzy pun dulu penah kena bedah
cost me about RM318.00 sbb dia gugur dalam perut and kena infection kat rahim dia. But, I dont mind spending money for my cats. They have been a part of my life. A sunny side of me.. Frens that keep me company when I am alone. Good jokers that never fail to bring laughter into my world. Loyal and trustworthy frens to cuddlle with. Faces that take away all pains and tense when I come
home. Oren, Kasim, Didy and Suzzy are not only cats.. they are part my life, a wonderful one...



Suzzy and Didy used to sleep with me on my bed. Tp bila emak tak suka sebab takut flea, Didy terpaksa tido kat dapur. Tapi, aku selalu make sure Didy tido kat tempat yg selesa and pintu bilik air terbukak so that dia senang nak throw his waste. Suzzy is very clever cat that always know how to keep herself clean.Didy, baru 2 thn... abang beli dia masa dia baby lagi ngan harga RM150.00. Didy is very special species. Lawa sangat.. muka dia tak kemek macam long hair lain. Pendiam, tp garanggggg.. diakui oleh vet kat Thomas pet clinic tu. Bulu dia tebal and kaler mixture of golden and greyish brown. Didy, sangat manja though suka mencakar. Tiap kali aku balik, dia mesti ikut aku ke dapur. Dia gemuk, kalau lari... mcm tak larat nak bawak badan dia.. Dia ada few fav spot kat mah
tu. Klu cari dia takde, samada dia lepak kat rak bawah meja kat depan tv, or kat bawah meja komputer. Ataupun kat belakang kipas depan tv. And his must-do-sleeping-place is kat tangga. Tiap-tiap pagi, bila aku bangun, dia akan bangun sekali tunggu aku bagi Friskies. Didy is so easy to feed. Tak macam suzzy. Didy suka semua kecuali bilis and sardin. Suzzy pulak semua tak suka kecuali ayam.


Tapi i know, didy memang tak sekuat kucin lain. Didy patutnya kena letak dlm sangkar besar and bukannya meratatempat. Tapi aku tak sampai hati nak kurung dia.. Aku lebih suka tengok dia bergerak ngan bebas ke mana jek dia nak. Lagipun, dia takkan keluar rumah. He did nothing but lazed around all day at home. The eyes that captivated me. Hmm, mungkin orang susah nak faham. ungkin kita takkan faham sampai satu masa bila kite berada kat tempat tu. Dulu aku tak suka kucin, tak suka.. tp takdela kejam terhadap kucin. But, I didnt bother to touch them or to play with them. Sampaila abang bawak kucin... And mula dari tu aku develop perasaan sayang, perasaan care terhadap sesuatu. Klu dulu hidup aku tak penah care terhadap mende, sekarang aku tahu menghargai makhluk tuhan yg lain dari manusia. Aku belajar menginsafi kehidupan.. Aku dpt tengok macamana suzzy sayang dan jaga anak-anak dia. Macamana Didy sayang kat aku sbb aku bagi dia makan. MAcamana oren struggle to live and protect himself masa dia kena buang dulu. Oren kucin pendatang kat umah aku. Sedangkan sifat manusia pun kadang-kadang lebih rendah dari haiwan. Klu dulu, aku suka sangat take things easy.. now, aku belajar untuk bertindak terhadap sesuatu yg bukan untuk kepentingan aku. Belajar menjadi seorang yang responsible terhadap hak milik kita, esp another living object. Bukan macam switch kat ofis yg aku leh buat apa yang aku suka. And macamana perasaan kita care kat orang-orang yg kita sayang. Macam seorang ibu yg kasihkan anak dia. Yelah, Hmm.. susah nak susun ayat. Yelah, selagi kita takde anak, mungkin taktau camna rasa sayang kat anak kan.. selagi tak jumpa the other
part of our heart, taktau camana rasa care kat orang lain.


So, Didy was sickfew days ago. Dunno why. Really have no idea. Didy nampak sihat sebenarnya lepas ke vet ari tu. He put on significant amount of weight. Aku pun baru jek aritu mandikan dia ngan dettol. Cuma 2/3 hari lepas dia taknak makan. pastu dia dok membuang jek. And yg paling aku takleh lupa, ada satu malam nie dia moaning sambil pandang aku ngan pandangan sedih. Well, my cats nie pelik sket.. klu lapar, pandang aku cam nak mencakar. Klu kenyang hmmm baru pandang penuh suka. Klu garang pulak, takde pandang2 lagi dah.. cakar jek terus. Tp pandangan Didy tu is like he was saying that he was in great pain. Aku dah tak
sedap hati sangat. TP Ive been so packed with work that I couldnt escape to come home early and brought him to vet. Lagipun sbb dia baru jek gie vet last month. Tp Didy mmg takleh jalan.. dia lemah sangat. AKu juz bawak dia klu nak suh dia tido dlm kotak.. Klu dia berjalan pun sbb dia nak ke bilik air. ORang kata, kucin klu nak mati dia akan ke tempat sejuk. So, tiap kali bangun pagi aku
tengok dia kat bilik air aku dah cuak sangat. Coz I rem ember my black cat dulu-dulu pun camtu. And I was about to bring him to the vet that saturday. I called the vet early morning and I left the ofis early. Tp masa aku kat USJ nak masuk KESAS, Ejal called. And I knew already, Didy was gone. I couldnt help to hold back my tears. Iwas burst out right away. The hell with the cars next to me
and the toll guy. My Didy was gone. I called My bro in law and asked him to bury Didy coz I couldnt stand to see his dead body. I knew that the smell i once love was no longer there. And Didy wouldnt stare at me anymore. Ntahla, tak sanggup nak cerita lagi... sbb just membuat aku rasa torn apart. I feel so lost, so empty. things that I care about is nomore there.

Didy, though its only a cat... had given me meaningful life lesson. Dari seorang yang tak penah kisah perasaan org lain, aku jadi seorang yang caring and loving and sensitive, even only for cat.. but believe me, I do to ppl around me.. Juz sometimes I dont know how to express it.. or at times, I always choose wrong ways to show it. Klu eincarnation is really exist, then... menjelmalah Didy dlm
bentuk apa sekalipun, coz I am missing u. Abang nak belikan aku kucing lain. Tp ntahla... just takleh nak stand the thought of losing another cat lagi nanti. Aku takut, and aku sebenarnya tak mampu nak meratapi kehilangan. Ive lost so many things, Ive lost so many beloved ppl.. I am afraid to find one only to lose again later. And aku takut kalau aku takleh nak jaga ngan baik. Aku selalu
berfikiran positive and always believe in trying, but somehow I lose again in the end.

Walauapa pun, aku bersyukur sbb aku masih ada family dan kawan-kawan yang sudi mewarnai hidup nie... And to those yang ada masa aku kehilangan didy: thanks Abang Zul and Nak ijah for ur never ending so helpful and supportive. Thanks Mickey for being there for me, and thanks so much for believing in me. U are always and forever special. Thanks Kak Ja for lending me shoulder to cry on.. Thanks Laila for ur concern... Kak Pah, Ujie and cats lover yang paham perasaan aku nih. It may sound ridiculous kan.. Tp ntahlaaaa... Dear readers, wish me well pls.. TQ...